Languish O heart!
languish heart languish!
let me see,
how long can you sear
how long you suffer
how much can you pine.
i shall not console
nor will utter a single word
to offer you respite.
even if you burst up
i shall not resort
to soothe your gushy wounds.
languish heart languish.
1985
Yearning
restless is my soul
restless..restless..
esurient is my psyche
esurient ..esurient...
thirst?
yes thirst remains and ever remains.
insatiable..unquenchable..
strife?
a lot..I go on and on
striving..striving..
Goal is anywhere mine?
never know never know.
for i possess an itinerant mind.
love do i trly have?
abounding abounding..
is the love my heart carries.
beau, do I have any?
yes i wish I had
but alas could not get.
so vast is the world
sundry are suitors..
but none is so deep
who could into the depths peep.
i adore an imaginary guy.
i yearned and pined
searing suffering embraced I
quaffed baneful tears
but my heart often sears
for a blissful hearty life!
4-9-1985
Saturday, 1 December 2012
My friend
deceipt,dereliction, derision
can daunt me ever not.
however mean you turn
i shall descend to meanness not.
you slave to cunnengness and
feign greatness friend.
i visualize myslef and
try to mend my ways.
you swot,suffer and toil
for you solely wish to spoil
my all efforts i humbly make.
my noble will you can not break.
you espoused envy and filth,
i embraced piety and love,
both of us have pined
you for envy and i for love.
1985
deceipt,dereliction, derision
can daunt me ever not.
however mean you turn
i shall descend to meanness not.
you slave to cunnengness and
feign greatness friend.
i visualize myslef and
try to mend my ways.
you swot,suffer and toil
for you solely wish to spoil
my all efforts i humbly make.
my noble will you can not break.
you espoused envy and filth,
i embraced piety and love,
both of us have pined
you for envy and i for love.
1985
True Allies
Once in my life
darkness gathered and
kith and kin went out
to misspell,mistrust me.
at first it seemed to me
all had if vanished.
love,faith, familiarity,
i found myself alone
deserted and deceived.
perpetrators of duplicity
wore a look away attitude.
leaving me to conclude-
truth faith go all in vain.
they only bring unbearable pain.
bitterness prevailed and life
turned into a searing weight.
friends derided me and
a few evnen chose to betray me.
day in day out,i thought and thought
and thought.
with eyes brimming with tears
i dwelt in ruts for long.
often asking myself-
what sustained me during
such traumatic times?
the query was answered
from a still chore of heart.
it were they who nursed me
hope,dream and a desire to be.
1985
Once in my life
darkness gathered and
kith and kin went out
to misspell,mistrust me.
at first it seemed to me
all had if vanished.
love,faith, familiarity,
i found myself alone
deserted and deceived.
perpetrators of duplicity
wore a look away attitude.
leaving me to conclude-
truth faith go all in vain.
they only bring unbearable pain.
bitterness prevailed and life
turned into a searing weight.
friends derided me and
a few evnen chose to betray me.
day in day out,i thought and thought
and thought.
with eyes brimming with tears
i dwelt in ruts for long.
often asking myself-
what sustained me during
such traumatic times?
the query was answered
from a still chore of heart.
it were they who nursed me
hope,dream and a desire to be.
1985
Melancholy
My poor heart!
how chimerical are you!
in the abyss of dismal darkness,
you in vain hanker
for a beam of soothing light.
scuffling hard through,
the ocean of melancholy.
you stare drearily
at the distant shore
progging for someone's
genuine love and
unflinching faithfulness.
have you learnt nothing?
from the past and
surrounders by?
or you feebly want
to going on thriving
on throes of people's
turpitude!
1984
Catharsis
cruelty is engrossing me
as undue tolerance has
poisoned my life always.
ironically i can't avenge
who take me for a ride
during tough strife.
sincerity,gentility
stubborneness
are my unmixed weaknesses.
to meanness but i do not
subscribe.my anguish
only poems can describe,
simple prosaic words,
soak up my tears,
feeling of revenge then
in thin air disappears.
Life
why did i not,like many others
commit suicide?
i quaffed apoisoned life.
but refused always
to abondon the stife.
deaths did i get many,
by my firm mind
assured me always
that death can never cure
disease we all call life.
My fate
O, the fate!
give me troubles, i welcome you.
give me poison to kill
my captivating wishes.
and give me brew
to nurse up the soul.
so the soul might grow bold.
and to plant it more strong
you bring thorns a few more!
1980
Loneliness
MY GOD!
while before you do i come,
i wish to forget all.
the noisy world,
the joys and woes.
Pray,love me ever God!
desertion,humiliation
and indignant words
are the gifts of worldy lovers.
just thorns to run deep
into the solemn soul.
why shed tears?
why should i pine?
for the gone, healed wounds.
Let me find asylum here
before your dear God!.
let the life, the death,
the smiles and the pains
the dreams and the deeds
all be for you.
for nomore can i bear
this loneliness
My God!
31.3.1984
Determination
I did
I do
and I shall
pave my way
myself.
with bricks of experiences
concrete of criticism
and cement of nagging
mixed with carping
coming to me.
I shall mix up
the sap of praise
given to me.
thus will make
my own way.
I have been paving
I do pave and
I shall pave
my own way.
until falls
the aim of life
i will pave
and i will pave.
1983
Advice
Be not truthful to this world
but only to yourself.
delude yourself no more
deceive yourself no more.
for only to this world belong
dream not of heavenly joys
express your wounds not
express your woes no more.
for even a altruist man
is embodiment of sheer selfishness.
1983
i refuse to share with this world.
pretty pretty woes of mine.
i have been fighting all alone
i will suffer and may i pine.
the arena of life is beset with ironies
bushes,briars and acute spines.
I refuse to lie, I refuse to feign
I refuse to wane my natural shine.
1983
I did
I do
and I shall
pave my way
myself.
with bricks of experiences
concrete of criticism
and cement of nagging
mixed with carping
coming to me.
I shall mix up
the sap of praise
given to me.
thus will make
my own way.
I have been paving
I do pave and
I shall pave
my own way.
until falls
the aim of life
i will pave
and i will pave.
1983
Advice
Be not truthful to this world
but only to yourself.
delude yourself no more
deceive yourself no more.
for only to this world belong
dream not of heavenly joys
express your wounds not
express your woes no more.
for even a altruist man
is embodiment of sheer selfishness.
1983
i refuse to share with this world.
pretty pretty woes of mine.
i have been fighting all alone
i will suffer and may i pine.
the arena of life is beset with ironies
bushes,briars and acute spines.
I refuse to lie, I refuse to feign
I refuse to wane my natural shine.
1983
The Elegy
Not more then an elegy
is my wretched life..
with death knell
I came in this world
to begin the funeral of life.
So sad, tragedic,
the path to graveyard is lost.
squandering to and fro
the elegy is going on..
the elegy shall be going on..
untill the graveyard falls.
the graveyard of my death
is whether near or far
i know not.
but the elegy gets no end
this only can i show!
1982
The solitude
O! the solitude!
the sweetest friend
my dearest lover!
who can be better then you?
nearer and nearest
accompanying me ever
giving respite,rest.
let me forget all
the joys,the woes,
the noisy world.
fuck me as a whole!
please love me evermore!
who knows me better then you?
who needs me as much as you?
My solitude! solitude!
your silent quiesent love
the pious carress and loving touch
is the only longing of mine.
what else in this deceptive world
i can say is mine?
nothign else but only you.
it is you my solitude
most loving friend,
O! solitude!
1982
Not more then an elegy
is my wretched life..
with death knell
I came in this world
to begin the funeral of life.
So sad, tragedic,
the path to graveyard is lost.
squandering to and fro
the elegy is going on..
the elegy shall be going on..
untill the graveyard falls.
the graveyard of my death
is whether near or far
i know not.
but the elegy gets no end
this only can i show!
1982
The solitude
O! the solitude!
the sweetest friend
my dearest lover!
who can be better then you?
nearer and nearest
accompanying me ever
giving respite,rest.
let me forget all
the joys,the woes,
the noisy world.
fuck me as a whole!
please love me evermore!
who knows me better then you?
who needs me as much as you?
My solitude! solitude!
your silent quiesent love
the pious carress and loving touch
is the only longing of mine.
what else in this deceptive world
i can say is mine?
nothign else but only you.
it is you my solitude
most loving friend,
O! solitude!
1982
Verse of life
Not to take care of the rythm,
but of the sense in my verse,
let its rythm be broken
let its phrases be simple quite,
but its sense should be high..
ever pleasing,thaught provoking
almost genuine,ideal and right!
1980
lots of pacts gave contentment
lots of desires naught.
many tangles and ties..
gestures of heart brought.
when i craved for joys
came to me none but woes..
knocked at door the joys.
when i befriended woes.
Oh, the glitter of gold,
I wish not to invite
I love solmnity
no illusive lights!
1982
I commit suicide wantonly
in many ways,many times..
have a funeral of formalities
scathing knives of surroundings
that keep stabbing often
my solitary hapless soul!
though i die many times
seldom find you God!
straying helplessly
in this foppish world
that is akin to a murky hole!
1982
there is an ocean of feelings
where overhangs a horizon
meet there earth of truth
and the sky of idealism.
sitting ahsore all alone..
listening to roaring waves..
seeing the tides rising
higher often higher..
in otherwise calm oceanic lore.
comes through waves a low oive
echoing in blue azure,
whispers of intuition,
trembling of heart,
winds blowing fiercely
heart bleeds with eyes moist,
confused,constrained,
I suffocate and sigh
failed to find any cure!
1982
Not to take care of the rythm,
but of the sense in my verse,
let its rythm be broken
let its phrases be simple quite,
but its sense should be high..
ever pleasing,thaught provoking
almost genuine,ideal and right!
1980
lots of pacts gave contentment
lots of desires naught.
many tangles and ties..
gestures of heart brought.
when i craved for joys
came to me none but woes..
knocked at door the joys.
when i befriended woes.
Oh, the glitter of gold,
I wish not to invite
I love solmnity
no illusive lights!
1982
I commit suicide wantonly
in many ways,many times..
have a funeral of formalities
scathing knives of surroundings
that keep stabbing often
my solitary hapless soul!
though i die many times
seldom find you God!
straying helplessly
in this foppish world
that is akin to a murky hole!
1982
there is an ocean of feelings
where overhangs a horizon
meet there earth of truth
and the sky of idealism.
sitting ahsore all alone..
listening to roaring waves..
seeing the tides rising
higher often higher..
in otherwise calm oceanic lore.
comes through waves a low oive
echoing in blue azure,
whispers of intuition,
trembling of heart,
winds blowing fiercely
heart bleeds with eyes moist,
confused,constrained,
I suffocate and sigh
failed to find any cure!
1982
Thursday, 29 November 2012
Luv Vs passion
love,a fragrance that
fills, stills the heart.
Passion- a fire that
... devours, usurps
drains of strength
leaving soul just bankrupt!
EGO Vs SOUL
ego fights to build up establish identity
soul strives
for dissolution.
...It longs only release
from all bondages.
name, fame and even form.
to regain lost
freedom supreme!
CUPId the seed of creation
As by petals in a flower
ensconced, laden with nectar.
so in human life,
...secret,mellowed, tender
based in body
seeded in the heart.
sprouting forth a longing
to be longed,melt and merge
with the loved one.
t dive deep and get steeped
with jubilation.
on sublimation- you yield
elixir,ecstasy divine
you are sacred seed of life
bliss and ultimate consciousness.
love,a fragrance that
fills, stills the heart.
Passion- a fire that
... devours, usurps
drains of strength
leaving soul just bankrupt!
EGO Vs SOUL
ego fights to build up establish identity
soul strives
for dissolution.
...It longs only release
from all bondages.
name, fame and even form.
to regain lost
freedom supreme!
CUPId the seed of creation
As by petals in a flower
ensconced, laden with nectar.
so in human life,
...secret,mellowed, tender
based in body
seeded in the heart.
sprouting forth a longing
to be longed,melt and merge
with the loved one.
t dive deep and get steeped
with jubilation.
on sublimation- you yield
elixir,ecstasy divine
you are sacred seed of life
bliss and ultimate consciousness.
to true friends
where will u go dear friend?
how far?how long?
I will touch u with rays of light
...will kiss u as gentle breeze
will luv u as long as i live
on earth or even die.
For i am essentially
only a ray of divine light!
EGO
a talismanic thorn
we nourish with pride
it is bu the bearer who
by its sting is first victimized.
Prisoners of Ego
How can the god in u smile?
Prisoners of ego blind!
You deny the God in women
...use,thrash and throw them!
how can then the God smile?
GOd is neither man nor woman.
Equally manifest in both
as complimentary wings to fly
What prisoner can ever fly?
In the realm of bliss and blithe?
Divine Luv
filled with wine divine
lost in love and light
neither I nor U exist
...we turn reflection
of same divine!
rays of love and light!
where will u go dear friend?
how far?how long?
I will touch u with rays of light
...will kiss u as gentle breeze
will luv u as long as i live
on earth or even die.
For i am essentially
only a ray of divine light!
EGO
a talismanic thorn
we nourish with pride
it is bu the bearer who
by its sting is first victimized.
Prisoners of Ego
How can the god in u smile?
Prisoners of ego blind!
You deny the God in women
...use,thrash and throw them!
how can then the God smile?
GOd is neither man nor woman.
Equally manifest in both
as complimentary wings to fly
What prisoner can ever fly?
In the realm of bliss and blithe?
Divine Luv
filled with wine divine
lost in love and light
neither I nor U exist
...we turn reflection
of same divine!
rays of love and light!
Dark circles around your eyes
by Saxena Manjula on Wednesday, 16 June 2010 at 12:16 ·
sisters! daughters!friends!
toiling in kitchen, office, shops
fields,studios and where not?
dark circles around your eyes
smile clad by lips, deny!
speak of cruel sleepless nights
unshared woes, unexpressed sighs
dark circles around your eyes!
hurt,neglect, broken woes
stored in your heart's chore
alien feelings received from guys
tell dark circles around the eyes!
toiling in kitchen, office, shops
fields,studios and where not?
dark circles around your eyes
smile clad by lips, deny!
speak of cruel sleepless nights
unshared woes, unexpressed sighs
dark circles around your eyes!
hurt,neglect, broken woes
stored in your heart's chore
alien feelings received from guys
tell dark circles around the eyes!
spring calls
barren land grows motley motley blooms
frozen rocks shed layers of snow
when the season of spring calls!
springs of water leaping
from the heart of a joyus earth.
there is sap beneath flowing
quietly with ineffable mirth!
life pulsating in human form,
too feels spring's call
when grace of god showers
like gently embracing drizzle
or touch of a fragrant breeze
or kiss of a dancing beam !
frozen rocks shed layers of snow
when the season of spring calls!
springs of water leaping
from the heart of a joyus earth.
there is sap beneath flowing
quietly with ineffable mirth!
life pulsating in human form,
when grace of god showers
like gently embracing drizzle
or touch of a fragrant breeze
or kiss of a dancing beam !
secret is the joy that fills my heart,
permeates my being and
spreads silently around me.
silence grabs as
words fully fail!
why speak?
why exress?
the latent treasure
gushing up brilliantly!
love flowing though
the grace of great souls!
As snowflakes melt into the sea
so do i merge spontaneously
inthe ocean of peace and bliss!
permeates my being and
spreads silently around me.
silence grabs as
words fully fail!
why speak?
why exress?
the latent treasure
gushing up brilliantly!
love flowing though
the grace of great souls!
As snowflakes melt into the sea
so do i merge spontaneously
inthe ocean of peace and bliss!
By Saxena Manjula · Monday, 7 March 2011
i get lost in light divine
no forms. no names
non-existent become I
lost in light divine!
light as light,
light and light,
blithe and blase,
i ply and fly
lost in light divine!
no forms. no names
non-existent become I
lost in light divine!
light as light,
light and light,
blithe and blase,
i ply and fly
lost in light divine!
By Saxena Manjula · Monday, 7 March 2011
wake up me not
friends and foes!
bereft of duals,
unending expectations.
i am asleep fast
in the arms of divine.
relieved, free nonentity.
i am in bliss
i am in bliss.
friends and foes!
bereft of duals,
unending expectations.
i am asleep fast
in the arms of divine.
relieved, free nonentity.
i am in bliss
i am in bliss.
seed of creation
by Saxena Manjula on Monday, 7 March 2011 at 11:00 ·
as by petals in a flower,
ensconsed, laden with nectar.
so inhuman life
secret,mellowed and tender,
based inbody yet
seeded inthe heart.
sprouting forth
a longing to be longed!
melt and merged with the loved one!
to dive deep, get steeped
with joy and peace.
on sublimation, you yield
ineffable elixir,ecstacy divine.
you are sacred seed of life
bliss and immortal consciousness!
ensconsed, laden with nectar.
so inhuman life
secret,mellowed and tender,
based inbody yet
seeded inthe heart.
sprouting forth
a longing to be longed!
melt and merged with the loved one!
to dive deep, get steeped
with joy and peace.
on sublimation, you yield
ineffable elixir,ecstacy divine.
you are sacred seed of life
bliss and immortal consciousness!
Friday, 12 October 2012
My Verse!
o, my verse!,
do not weep,
do not mourn
have a pact with everything
either grief or a joy.
the real and true joy
is hidden in a compromise
or in a life
filled with sacrifice.
so so not weep, o my verse!
life, itself a dream
but not meaningless.
though its all adversities
and joys are fake,
but make a base
with truth and faith.
so don't weep or mourn
o my verse!
1978
Rising Sun
I am a sacred dot
on the forehead of a bride.
carrying joy in a gentle heart
to enlighten a dull life.
I am a coral red and bright
glittering in the necklace
of a hazy,tender night.
spread around my golden light!
give an impulse to work,
most of the while!
give you warmth and healthy smile.
symbolize prosperity
with a life worthwhile!
1979
Dawnwning Star
I see a dawning star
daily in the vague azure.
seems me awaiting the unrisedn sun
impatiently, silently.
twinkling with fear, a dolour
and the hope of a joy.
awaiting his beloved for long.
but as comes the precursor
disguised as a dancing beam
from the beloved sun,
it seens so overjoyed
even losing its own form
while sinking slowly
in the deep azure
with a sigh!
1979
A Pitiable Lass
once while passing on my way
lost in a private world and gay,
I lost my happy day!
as I saw a poor lass away.
half bare and shivering
in such a chilling day.
strolling in the morning
barefoot on a rocky way
for the entire hazy day!
My heart got filled with pity,
as I glanced at myself
wrapped in layers of woollens
but with a meak heart.
felt a deep shame within.
may her body be frail but not her courage
that emboldened my courage.
I realized within then
I was pitiable not she,
I was weaker not she!
1980
o, my verse!,
do not weep,
do not mourn
have a pact with everything
either grief or a joy.
the real and true joy
is hidden in a compromise
or in a life
filled with sacrifice.
so so not weep, o my verse!
life, itself a dream
but not meaningless.
though its all adversities
and joys are fake,
but make a base
with truth and faith.
so don't weep or mourn
o my verse!
1978
Rising Sun
I am a sacred dot
on the forehead of a bride.
carrying joy in a gentle heart
to enlighten a dull life.
I am a coral red and bright
glittering in the necklace
of a hazy,tender night.
spread around my golden light!
give an impulse to work,
most of the while!
give you warmth and healthy smile.
symbolize prosperity
with a life worthwhile!
1979
Dawnwning Star
I see a dawning star
daily in the vague azure.
seems me awaiting the unrisedn sun
impatiently, silently.
twinkling with fear, a dolour
and the hope of a joy.
awaiting his beloved for long.
but as comes the precursor
disguised as a dancing beam
from the beloved sun,
it seens so overjoyed
even losing its own form
while sinking slowly
in the deep azure
with a sigh!
1979
A Pitiable Lass
once while passing on my way
lost in a private world and gay,
I lost my happy day!
as I saw a poor lass away.
half bare and shivering
in such a chilling day.
strolling in the morning
barefoot on a rocky way
for the entire hazy day!
My heart got filled with pity,
as I glanced at myself
wrapped in layers of woollens
but with a meak heart.
felt a deep shame within.
may her body be frail but not her courage
that emboldened my courage.
I realized within then
I was pitiable not she,
I was weaker not she!
1980
as a child i often wondered about everything i saw around. i thought of keeping a track of all the steps of growth and change in self with the passage of time. but life is such a miracle ..it is so steady..so imperceptible...one does not know how everything changes ...ceaselessly..still certain impressions get etched deep in our psyche that it is difficult to erase them.such feelings take the shape of creative expression such as poems. i share my such expressions with avid readers of heart and mind around the world.
some quotations of thinkers like George Bernard Shaw still enliven my spirits." I am an athiest and I thank God for it."
"I am a vegetarian,my stomach is not a graveyard of dead animals" and a saying by suuphi philosophers,-'When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the spirit laughs for what it has gained." keep reverberating in my heart. the battle between flesh and spirit is eternal and cosmic. we keep changing our forms from micro level to macro level; from energy to mass; from one form to another. this is our journey..eternal and unending....
some quotations of thinkers like George Bernard Shaw still enliven my spirits." I am an athiest and I thank God for it."
"I am a vegetarian,my stomach is not a graveyard of dead animals" and a saying by suuphi philosophers,-'When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the spirit laughs for what it has gained." keep reverberating in my heart. the battle between flesh and spirit is eternal and cosmic. we keep changing our forms from micro level to macro level; from energy to mass; from one form to another. this is our journey..eternal and unending....
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